every cloud has a silver lining

another day..s of procrastinating

2010-12-23T20:14:00.005+08:00

my lazy bones refused to work, the brain cells work sluggishly and my metabolism really has something against me..well, and worse..it would take hours just to get my ass off the chair...
yesterday wasn't a good day for me, it wouldn't make the whole week sucks though..
i should have started with my thesis, but what's been holding me up was that the results were not something i've desired,then i have to repeat,yet again,from the get-go,yes,am talking 'bout my masters research project, been practicing myself with some sorts of what so called 'positive thinking'..how 'bout the positive actions then eh? let's rev up efforts! :)

hey,am back!!

2010-12-19T20:23:00.002+08:00

here i am..alive..ok,let's turn into a new page..i've got an interview tomorrow, it's for my scholarship extension..all the best to myself.. have no idea what should i look out for, am bad at predicting what would they ask..i hope i can give them satisfactory answers..well,hopefully everything will turn out fine..i have something to confess,i have chickened out already! coz this scholarship mean big deal to me..God, please favor me.

Hiatus break!!

2010-09-23T22:48:00.004+08:00

Let's laugh before going any further ..phuahhahahah..ROFL..LOL..LMAO..i was so stressed out for the last couple of months and still am!! has been feeling out of sorts and restless, am i complaining too much?LOL..
i need something to cheer me up and boost up my mood!! this 'scholarship' thingy is really unsettling..someone please help me get a grip on things!!
i'm not exaggerating,ok maybe a teeny,weeny bit ..must prepare for what lies ahead!! ok,enough for now,until wind takes me here again..until then,adios~

FINALLY..

2010-04-28T12:35:00.003+08:00

LOL..i was having problem and shocked at how big was the video I just embed on my previous entry..well,a new YT..I'm so left behind..*sighs*

let's get back on track

Jay's press conference is underway!! we're gonna fight fight fight fight fight for this war..you can win the fight and lose the war JYPE,cause in the end of the day,you'll be buried deep down there,suffocate and die..chew die!! *emo*

will the truth be unveiled,will it hurt or will it mend matters? *shrugs*

nonetheless..a part of me just want it to be left untouched..well you know,it's like an itchy scab that's still firmly rooted on one edge,and if touched would rip open and bleed all over again..but if that what it takes to let the scab heal even though it will leave a scar..better be that way,at least scars won't hurt..

OMG, I'm running late,I'll be back..hopefully..LOL

O.O

2010-04-28T11:41:00.009+08:00

LOL.. I haven't updated for ages..well,I've been so busy..and still am busy..I'm so dreading days ahead of me,but what can I do..time flies,and not to mention recently it has boosted its speed..speed up!!

about my project,yeah..has yet to achieve the goal even after the third time trying,they said that's one of the reason you call it 'research'..yeah whatever,i hate synthesis especially polymer synthesis ..but yeah,just go with the flow and hope to heaven everything will turn out great real soon..I saw the bar of this blog (since I've bookmarked it,lol) ,clicked on it and tadaaa..here I am..*pauses* ..LOL,i was about to share a lot of things until seconds ago I have forgotten what were they..I'm chewing gum now,nowadays the gum is quarter the size of it's used to be..back then..

JAY!! haa Jay..LOL..Jay..he's standing tall on his own feet now,I have listened to the collab .. like it,Clara's voice..the lyrics and DFD..not bad..and the movie,Hype Nation,it's real!! I'm not that excited though..LOL..but yeah,why not,right??

to be frank I have left kpop right after the conference..and days ago I went and checked on Bi's new song and Hyori's too,I like Love Song and Shake..but I say no to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.. 8P

still waiting for my material to completely dissolve..and I just checked on the news about Jay will be holding a press conference..I guess I need a new post for this one..LOL *jumps into another post,see you there*

just a shout out

2010-03-24T21:25:00.002+08:00

I feel like deleting all my posts regarding on 2PM..but yeah,I found it's unreasonable ( ain't it? ..but I do have apparent reasons to delete them..LOL) ..nonetheless, let be it.. this blog will be a blog with a full blank page if I do delete them..HAHA..you know what am sayin' ..*giggles*

you know what,despite all these fiascos and shocking things happened to us,i do feel relieved ..at last it has ended (hopefully, even though I feel like JYPE is planning on another shitty shit)..

you guys know right,that I love watching bboying,breaking and stuffs..and this gave me chance to get to know them better,and what more EPIC is..now,i got to know AOM,knuckleheads,MassiveM more than before ..of course i love other crews which are more recognised and well known,but these crews deserve all the spotlights and attentions either ..they are no joke talented people!!

done spazzing *gets back to her works,hops around*

brotherhood,my foot

2010-03-24T20:42:00.005+08:00

For all this time,I thought 7-1=0 was real..guess what we've been fooled!! no such thing as 7=1,they are all fake..how could they do this to their brother and leader who helped them got their name out there and brought them to the top..
to be frank,I didn't expect thing would turn out this way,so dirty,nonsense,ridiculous, unbelievable,selfish..fame and money are no doubt can kill a 'family'.

who are those people??!!

with this,for me it's the end to the 6 of them..however,good luck for you guys! and just to remind you,karma will knock on your door someday somehow.

and Jay Park,you deserve better than this...that time will come..'A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him'..we believe in you Jay Park,let's work on the path.

Now you're a free man (hopefully,this is true) let's spread the wings and fly up to the sky limit..

i haven't updated anything these past few months..well,i've been busy and with my hectic schedule,i didn't manage to write and vent out what's bottled up

i hope things will turn out better for all of us..till next time,good bye~ *winks*

PS: Junior AOM..you're so dope!!i love all AOM members ,they are a bunch of people full with talents,but if you ask me who's my favourite,then i have to say Junior is at the top of my list.

with this,i leave you guys with a footage of the Sweet 16 final battle : Cha cha (AOM) & Jalen VS Junior(AOM) & Tim(MassiveM).It was in January,2010..enjoy~

i believe in 7

2010-01-23T15:53:00.002+08:00

rumors stay rumors..as for me,i'll take this as a forewarning sign of a forthcoming truth .. i won't rule this out and poke the only bubble of hope i have.. i was like whirling in a blender in the past few months ..went from curiosity to outrage .. the best thing to do now is waiting for the official statement..even though it's miserable..i wanted to give this some time to sink in,but it doesn't seem to subside in anytime soon..it's just getting worse.. everytime i read those rumors my thoughts spun in circle and as if the words echoed ..what's really going on,for heaven sake please speak the truth..the who the where the why..OMG this is so heart wrenching..we had enough anxiety for the past few months,please stop burden us with more..Sept 8,2009 the date i won't soon be forgetting..i have no time to play the drama..please stop it already..come to think about it, the truth needs to be unveiled even though it'll be the reason for me to walk out the door..how can a person you barely even know makes you feel so woeful and lost..i've been refraining myself from talking about this whole saga..but the urge for me to do so is too strong..

HOTTESTS the reason we become this strong is him,don't lose it..hang in there,keep the faith,as we ever promised that we won't be tired of waiting no matter how hurtful it's gonna turn out to be..

i love you guys,and thanks for being here for each other...

this is my first post in this new year which i hope could bring us back the happiness we once had,but it doesn't seem like it..7-1=0

GDA 2009

2009-12-11T01:35:00.001+08:00

our boys won *pauses* what award did they win for..but,at least they did win..suju won daesang though..ah..forget it..

the performance!!!ROFL..the best performance of the night..at least for me...Taec appeared out of no where..and Chan too..do not miss him out..they did perform AAA,my heart was thumping the second i heard the intro beat of AAA, but they cut Jay's part..it's really made me feel no better..in fact, they better not perform the song at all..why am i so overwrought today,everything doesn't seem right..get emotionally stirred up by every tiny little thing..

i think as days pass by,Jay is getting forgotten..if he doesn't comeback..then it's the end..no more kpop..i meant it..until then,i have to give them some time..never meant to turn this situation into gloomy,i just wanted to vent out what i felt inside,since i have no place else,i would get bashed if i mention this to them..lol..but yeah the fact that i couldn't shake my feeling of him not coming back fills my heart with nothing else but hatred and anger..

my eyelids are getting heavier...it's only 1.34 in the morning..this is nothing like me..lol..ahh and my stars..i miss them..it's been a while since we last talked....hope to see you guys soon..<33

ah hell..i miss them 7 so bad..you,Jay..whom i miss the most..

insomniac

2009-12-09T03:40:00.000+08:00

yes..it's ME..i have been trying to break my habit of waking up all night and sleep in the next morning and wake up 2-3 hours later..

it's been 2-3 days..i hit the bed earlier,at 1 in the morning hoping that i could drift off to sleep before disembark in my dreamland ..but yeah..if only that sleeping pills are nothing different than that of candies and only if overdose on it will keep me alive..i'll appease my self with it and put my mind and body to sleep..

lately,it's starting to get busy..again..and i have to wake up early to catch up on work..but it seems so unlikely..since i only manage to doze off when the morning comes and at a time the sun is about to pop out..and i sleep my morning away when i'm supposed to be awake and do my work..

staying up all night and splash water on my face and off to work..? oh,it could spell disaster..i bet you i'll start to see three of every single thing..the time now is 3.40 in the morning..if i go off to sleep now,at least i have about 2 hrs and a half to rest myself..and i'm such a soft sleeper..*sighs*

okay,the time is now!<-- muahaha..jaesuk.. imma off to sleep,i'll be back when i'm lucid..again -good night-

December,the 8th

2009-12-09T02:36:00.004+08:00

Sept,Oct,Nov and now Dec..it's been 3 months..to be frank,3 months just a short intermission to one who had been ditched and hated by thousands of people,okay by the netizens across the country..a prideful country (never meant to be sarcastic or cynical..i don't have a cynical bone in my body..) to take his time and redevelop and renew his strengths,put things back on track and regain his grip on things..

come to think of it..again..i have been wondering how do people acquiesce to that statement decisively..?not all of them..but yeah,most of them..everything is up to him?!..hello,please be practical..how can a big company gives a kid who is nobody a charcoal to sketch their future..?

because the CEO said so..?! oh,how convoluted is that reasoning?time for a little realism..it's not that i'm trying to ask you to be on the same page as mine,everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions..and i respect that..but please reconsider this..yes,nothing much we can do..but it's not that there is nothing at all..that slight chance..let's work it out..

7-1 = 0

i'm straight~

2009-12-04T19:42:00.008+08:00

Gahee unnie,can't you get any hotter??! i'm straight..unnie please do not divert and bend my 'straightness' ..if someday somehow i become bi....i blame it all on you..

i figured out your love story with yoochun..unnie..you're too good for him (get ready to get bashed by yoochun's fans)...unnie, find a decent man..not that yoochun is not one..but his age is the matter in this case..okay..it is a history (isn't it?)..i won't bring it all up..

gasp! unnie,i gotta go..i'm running late

by the way..i love your song..when i fall..and it's on my playlist..*poofs*

...days ago and another weekend...

2009-12-04T15:20:00.010+08:00

i was not in the best mood for the past few days..at least i did something to help me got a grip on things...my works are going nowhere..static,in fact,another headache..no big surprise..i could see this running over me..bang!!not to mention,i missed my bus..a streak of bad luck? nah..me and my overreactive pitiful thoughts,maybe it was a blessing in disguise? *shrugs*..i wasn't that pitiful,(this isn't the time to play the drama,princess!!)at least there's no any mishap..

and that thing!!that's the picture i won't soon be forgetting..if only i can share this..(ah,hell..just keep it to yourself,girl..).. i should keep my emotions all bottled up,yes..i'm a robot..( i'm a cyborg but that's okay..lol)

it's been 4 months..yet nothing has been achieved..as of now.. okay fine, 5 %..5% ??!! where the hell is the other 95%?? 95% is too much,yes..it's dang complete then..okay,rephrase..another 25% is more likely..*sighs* but it's okay..haha..i'm just cool like that..starting next week..the very first morning of the week,i'll go for broke and work against the clock throughout the course..uh-huh

*pauses* why did I get told off by her when i was clueless on what the hell have i done wrong ..you shouldn't done that just because you got up on the wrong side of the bed,..stop it,lady! i wish i could yell that at her face..she jarred on my nerves ..she must have been through a tough time for the last couple of days..there was stress in her voice..i should cheer her up (my uncharitable thought often take over me lately)..i'm so mean..*turns off the meanie mode and turns on the angelic mode*

(i should start cleaning up my vocabulary now,and be a nice girl and shows a great courtesy)

it's weekend again!! what should i fill up my weekend with..let's see....

it's been 3 months since his departure...:(

2PM MAMA -Behind the Scene

2009-11-26T15:19:00.002+08:00

the conspiracies and propagandas

2009-11-25T15:57:00.005+08:00

jype is unable to protect,oops 'unable' is totally not the right word instead never ever bothered to protect their artistes even from the get-go,in fact, at the same time.makes profits over such situations (maybe JYPE doesn't have voice in this matter since CL is huge,but this is not the matter) ..they set up the situation,and came forward as if they were heroes claiming they would protect Jay's right..hello..stop bullshitting man..my respect for JYP/JYPE totally is buried deep down within the earth!!

and WTH , tvN claimed they wanted to show the natural and common life jay lives in?!that was too phony,inconceivable..muahaha..what do you take us for?idiots..??go and stand before the mirror..yes,you just see a bunch of idiots,at least you should learn how to lie man..

i felt better before i found out tvN made this statement of their 'true' intention..yes they are reporters after all...but now.

if this continues..i don't think he'll ever be ready to come back

junho aaaa ~~

2009-11-25T14:56:00.006+08:00

when a cute boy made a cute mistake, responded by a beastly boy..

muahahaha

okay,let me pin-point, at minute of 5.45

something is not a big deal here is a big deal somewhere else

2009-11-25T13:28:00.005+08:00

In the U.S and some other countries,it is normal to work part time job..yes, from a commoner to a star and back to a commoner..a responsible guy wouldn't sit back and relax at home while shaking his legs..lying on the couch watching prime time shows and series..

fixing the tires..?there's nothing to be ashamed of..yes,he was a star(he is actually)..but that doesn't hinder him from realizing his own responsibilities..and it's not something woeful

to those people,he has his own rights to be asserted..please show some respects..yes. it's your job..but let's do it the right way,not superfluously..stop taking advantage of people's weaknesses..it's too pathetic

what i feared the most is, from having a slight thought of coming back to none at all..i'm proud of him..regardless who he was..he never feels ashamed to live a normal life..and he's a good son..

091120 2PM 'heartbeat' Music Bank

2009-11-20T20:20:00.003+08:00

they looked like they're gonna cry in any second..i bet they missed

their leadja so bad..they seemed exhausted,worn out and sad.. :(

their vocals were not so smooth ..however, it's still hot..they deserve

being called a performance group..

7-1=0

my to-watch list

2009-11-20T19:10:00.005+08:00

lately,i don't feel like watching any k-drama..i prefer Family Outing and I'd rather RE-watch 2PM's shows than watching a new drama..but my sis said Shining Inheritance is worth watching..and i heard the viewer rating surpassed 46%!!it explains why it's at the top of my list..and IRIS!!no need to say much, TOP in it..and as an professional assassin..how cool is that!!

1) shining inheritance

2) iris

should i include You're Beautiful..?since many said it's a 'cute and fantasy' drama..i don't really like this kind of drama though..nevertheless...

3)you're beautiful

okay..!!

my first video!!!

2009-11-20T18:17:00.012+08:00

uhuu..okay,this is my first video, it's lacking in every way..lol..i'm so in love with this song and JAY PARK definitely..!!

i miss him :( i'll put more efforts to improve myself in producing better and nice videos..~~

here's the lyric (there's might be a mistake with the lyrics since i just copied it A to Z lyric) and didn't have time

to go through and make any correction

A.n.g.e.l by Natasha Bedingfiled

Just like a shadow
I'll be beside you
I'll be your comfort
I'm there to guide you home
I will provide you a place of shelter
I want a be your zone
I'll act as if you do
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
With every promise given
Making vows to please her man

[Chorus:]
If I could be your angel (your angel, your angel)
Protect you from the pain (from the pain, oh)
I'll keep you safe from danger (from danger, from danger)
You'll never hurt again (no more)
I'll be your
A-N-G-E-L
A-N-G-E-L
I'm gonna be your A-N-G-E-L
A-N-G-E-L
I'll be your angel

Just like the moon
I'll step aside
And let your sun shine
While I follow behind
Cause baby what ya got
It is with all the props
You're everything I'm not
I'll act as if you do
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
With every promise given
Making vows to please her man

[Chorus]

Tell me why there's so many good men
Men in the world misunderstood
He's a dog, he's no good
I wish somebody would
Disrespect my man
You're gonna have to come see me
I go hard for my baby
He's all that I need

So if you got a good one
Put your hands up,
Come on girl and stand up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get up
If you got a good one, put your hands up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get up
If you got a good one, stand up
Come on girl, and stand up

[Chorus]

the only LEADJA

2009-11-20T15:36:00.001+08:00

i'm going home tonight..!!

2009-11-19T18:38:00.003+08:00

yes..and i'll meet my aunt and cousins.. i know the situation won't be the same as it used to be -depressing, full of sadness, awkward, all must be mentally and physically worn-out..but i have to gather my strengths and set up a new starting line.. i'll endure the sadness..i won't pile anymore sadness on them..they have had enough..

on the other side,hopefully by the time i get home and turn on my lappy, there won't be any sad and heartbreaking news..i fear it might be.. :(

today they claimed whether or not he will return , the decision is totally his.. i hope there's no continuation to this statement..as days,months or weeks after there'll be a headline reads 'Jay's decided to terminate the contract and choose his own path' ..too much drama and twisted facts..i know he's not a defeatist so do his other six dongsaeng..

it's not the end, it's only the end if we stop fighting!!

gasp! it's 7.18 pm already..i'm off to take a shower...'goodbye' <--- yoo jae suk's voice..lol

when you lost your sanity

2009-11-18T15:53:00.007+08:00

do you miss him..?!!the best leader amongst idols,at least for me..he does deserve my respect..over the past 2 months..the boys have matured..they crossed the ocean waves and been bashed away while struggling to arrive on shore..but it seems like the shore is farther than predicted..don't give up boys..as long as the ship has good crews,it won't drown..regardless how strong the wave is..put your trust in it..even if we have to swim against the current..let's believe in ourselves..

7-1=0

*jay and eric (shinhwa) undoubtedly are good leaders

have to move out??!!

2009-11-18T14:39:00.004+08:00

there's a piece of paper sticked on the notice board reads ' all phd and master's students on the ground and 3rd floor have to move out and vacate the rooms' are you kidding me..??!!

my room is on 3rd floor..everyday i have to take three stairs flights..go down three flights,go up three flights..i always take the stairs two at a time,everyday,average, 3 times each day..any ideas on how my thigh muscle would look like a year from now..?..i'll leave it to your imagination..

i was placed on the 3rd floor which is the highest floor..i climbed the the stairs carrying my stuffs and started organizing them..at least i was given a room..the next morning, somebody was knocking on my door and i was awoken to the knocking sound..and there were 3 persons standing before my door..and said ' you have to vacate this floor,immediately..!!there's H1N1 case (swine flu), this floor will be the quarantine place for the patients'..i was bewildered..i grabbed my key car and drove straight to the office..i was given a new key room..and guess what..the room was on the 3rd floor of the adjacent building..i moved out all my stuffs went down three flights and went up another three flights..i thought i was dead..it was not just a full cloth luggage..but lots!!i have to back and forth about 5 times..up and down..and the room was just temporary..meant i have to move again to my formal room..and yes, i'm not a mountain hiker

..at last the temporary room became permanent after having arguments with the admins..

and now..i have to move out again..and vacate the room..pack all the belongings??!! mwoya ige!! chongmal shiro..shiro yo shiro..!!they said for renovation purpose..i didn't see any difference with the room that has been renovated..just a slight change ..huh

leftover,the famous guy, selfishness

2009-11-18T03:29:00.007+08:00

my zinger burger was abandoned..it's 3.31 in the morning..a supper? .. all of a sudden,I'm thinking of that famous guy, what a kind-hearted boy he is.. sacrificed his dreams for the sake of others' ...nevertheless, this is not the end..long way to go boy..and boys..how dirty this world could get,the answer is dependent on the people who live in it..selfishness drives people to the extreme..but bear in mind..who's the driver of that selfishness..it's us...decide up to what gear you want it to be driven in..because you're the one who jams the key in the ignition and starts the motor and hence shoves the gear stick..SELFISHNESS

come to think of it, how big this racket has gotten..when it didn't have to come to this extent at the first place..poor boy

a new doctor

2009-11-18T02:26:00.000+08:00

it's pretty right..? I've been coughing and having sore throat for the past 3 days.I went to the clinic,my university clinic,i never knew that we have a new doctor and he's a foreigner..yes..all of our docs are foreigners..so cute..he asked me,coughing?sore throat? i acquiesced with a nod..any mucus..? and what color..? i paused for seconds..*thinks* do i have any nasal mucus,and color?!!..lol..i was clueless..he caught me..he was trying to help..what color..mmm 'ijo?'..i was like..'ijo' what kind of color is 'ijo'..or was it a medical term..haha..i burst into laughter..'ijo' was actually hijau (malay) as in green in english..

at the end i walked out of the clinic with a plastic bag full of medicines..i haven't taken the medicines..just once..for sore throat..i don't like cough medicine...i'll eat it..soon~~

nov, the 17th

2009-11-18T01:51:00.001+08:00

today...is not a good day for me

i got a phone call..i missed the first call..a message came in,i was awoken by the message..i instantly dialed the number..yes,i could see this coming, no one ever called with good news early in the morning,when you're supposed to be in your dreamland..good news could always wait until morning..

first call..was it,he was fighting for his life which was seemed like already at the end of the line..

this is the time,when you clasp your hand and wishing there's no second call..but thing ain't always go as you directed it to..i lost him

the minutes he knew i was home, he would give me a phone call...Lisz ,come over,i'll cook you something..Lisz,is there's anything you feel like eating..

he liked to cook and he was a good cook.. he was that kind of person..RIP uncle,may God bless you..you'll be missed..

i wish i could be with them,i wonder how she's doing now,my cousin..i lost two uncles within two months..

Life is just like that..

the birth of my blog

2009-11-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

at last,the existence of my blog is no more phony,it's realistic..okay,here's my confession,i'm entirely virgin when it comes to blogging..*peace* what should i begin with..*pauses*..okay,my blog title..as it implies i live my life as it meant..everything happened must be for the best..yes lots of things happened throughout my 23 years living in this world..there's quote saying 'pain is inevitable , suffering is optional' ... need to move on regardless how bumpy your path was,living in unidentifiable world,that how life is..the who,the where,the why..all these just are rhetorical questions , no one has an answer scheme for that..

okay,let's cheer up, chill woman!!! lol..i wish this blog can last longer than predicted..FTW!!