GDA 2009

our boys won *pauses* what award did they win for..but,at least they did win..suju won daesang though..ah..forget it..

the performance!!!ROFL..the best performance of the night..at least for me...Taec appeared out of no where..and Chan too..do not miss him out..they did perform AAA,my heart was thumping the second i heard the intro beat of AAA, but they cut Jay's part..it's really made me feel no better..in fact, they better not perform the song at all..why am i so overwrought today,everything doesn't seem right..get emotionally stirred up by every tiny little thing..

i think as days pass by,Jay is getting forgotten..if he doesn't comeback..then it's the end..no more kpop..i meant it..until then,i have to give them some time..never meant to turn this situation into gloomy,i just wanted to vent out what i felt inside,since i have no place else,i would get bashed if i mention this to them..lol..but yeah the fact that i couldn't shake my feeling of him not coming back fills my heart with nothing else but hatred and anger..

my eyelids are getting heavier...it's only 1.34 in the morning..this is nothing like me..lol..ahh and my stars..i miss them..it's been a while since we last talked....hope to see you guys soon..<33

ah hell..i miss them 7 so bad..you,Jay..whom i miss the most..

insomniac

yes..it's ME..i have been trying to break my habit of waking up all night and sleep in the next morning and wake up 2-3 hours later..

it's been 2-3 days..i hit the bed earlier,at 1 in the morning hoping that i could drift off to sleep before disembark in my dreamland ..but yeah..if only that sleeping pills are nothing different than that of candies and only if overdose on it will keep me alive..i'll appease my self with it and put my mind and body to sleep..

lately,it's starting to get busy..again..and i have to wake up early to catch up on work..but it seems so unlikely..since i only manage to doze off when the morning comes and at a time the sun is about to pop out..and i sleep my morning away when i'm supposed to be awake and do my work..

staying up all night and splash water on my face and off to work..? oh,it could spell disaster..i bet you i'll start to see three of every single thing..the time now is 3.40 in the morning..if i go off to sleep now,at least i have about 2 hrs and a half to rest myself..and i'm such a soft sleeper..*sighs*

okay,the time is now!<-- muahaha..jaesuk.. imma off to sleep,i'll be back when i'm lucid..again -good night-

December,the 8th

Sept,Oct,Nov and now Dec..it's been 3 months..to be frank,3 months just a short intermission to one who had been ditched and hated by thousands of people,okay by the netizens across the country..a prideful country (never meant to be sarcastic or cynical..i don't have a cynical bone in my body..) to take his time and redevelop and renew his strengths,put things back on track and regain his grip on things..

come to think of it..again..i have been wondering how do people acquiesce to that statement decisively..?not all of them..but yeah,most of them..everything is up to him?!..hello,please be practical..how can a big company gives a kid who is nobody a charcoal to sketch their future..?

because the CEO said so..?! oh,how convoluted is that reasoning?time for a little realism..it's not that i'm trying to ask you to be on the same page as mine,everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions..and i respect that..but please reconsider this..yes,nothing much we can do..but it's not that there is nothing at all..that slight chance..let's work it out..

7-1 = 0

i'm straight~

Gahee unnie,can't you get any hotter??! i'm straight..unnie please do not divert and bend my 'straightness' ..if someday somehow i become bi....i blame it all on you..

i figured out your love story with yoochun..unnie..you're too good for him (get ready to get bashed by yoochun's fans)...unnie, find a decent man..not that yoochun is not one..but his age is the matter in this case..okay..it is a history (isn't it?)..i won't bring it all up..

gasp! unnie,i gotta go..i'm running late

by the way..i love your song..when i fall..and it's on my playlist..*poofs*

...days ago and another weekend...

i was not in the best mood for the past few days..at least i did something to help me got a grip on things...my works are going nowhere..static,in fact,another headache..no big surprise..i could see this running over me..bang!!not to mention,i missed my bus..a streak of bad luck? nah..me and my overreactive pitiful thoughts,maybe it was a blessing in disguise? *shrugs*..i wasn't that pitiful,(this isn't the time to play the drama,princess!!)at least there's no any mishap..

and that thing!!that's the picture i won't soon be forgetting..if only i can share this..(ah,hell..just keep it to yourself,girl..).. i should keep my emotions all bottled up,yes..i'm a robot..( i'm a cyborg but that's okay..lol)

it's been 4 months..yet nothing has been achieved..as of now.. okay fine, 5 %..5% ??!! where the hell is the other 95%?? 95% is too much,yes..it's dang complete then..okay,rephrase..another 25% is more likely..*sighs* but it's okay..haha..i'm just cool like that..starting next week..the very first morning of the week,i'll go for broke and work against the clock throughout the course..uh-huh

*pauses* why did I get told off by her when i was clueless on what the hell have i done wrong ..you shouldn't done that just because you got up on the wrong side of the bed,..stop it,lady! i wish i could yell that at her face..she jarred on my nerves ..she must have been through a tough time for the last couple of days..there was stress in her voice..i should cheer her up (my uncharitable thought often take over me lately)..i'm so mean..*turns off the meanie mode and turns on the angelic mode*

(i should start cleaning up my vocabulary now,and be a nice girl and shows a great courtesy)

it's weekend again!! what should i fill up my weekend with..let's see....

it's been 3 months since his departure...:(